Based in Texas, Words is a blog by Kari Lynn Collins. Her posts explore life, mostly through laughter.


Momma needs more Koffie Smaak

Momma needs more Koffie Smaak

All I need to be OK in life right now is a pen, paper, some chocolate and cheap wine and great neighbors.

I have the best neighbors in the world, and because of them, I’m OK in life right now.

Jess and Nelle moved next door a few months ago, and they are dream neighbors. 

They like to talk. We  like to talk. 

They are funny. We are weird.

I love chocolate. They moved here from Belgium.

Like I said, dream neighbors.

They are the most precious couple with wonderful kids, all of whom are unique unto themselves. 

One night this week, we were visiting in their living room when my sweet husband outed my chocolate addiction to them, describing me along the lines of a guilty raccoon carrying armloads of chocolates to my woman cave, so I can eat them undisturbed and undetected.

This is partially true, although he doesn’t understand that I learned to keep dark chocolate for those nights that the chocolate monsters demanded sacrifices. 

I was trying to shield him from the ugly truth and my darker forces.

Nelle understood, though. Having lived in Belgium, shepulled out a bag from a candy store there. 

That bag was full of even more candy –  tons of it labeled in German, French and some in Dutch, the official languages of Belgium. 

I felt like Charlie with the golden ticket.

Nelle offered me a box holding four different kinds of chocolate - several bars of each kind – with what appears to be French labels. I’m no linguist, but I think if there are housetops over the o’s and the occasional apostrophe thrown in for a word’s mid-flair, it seems very French to me. German sounds kind of angry, comparatively.

So, at approximately 9 p.m. the tribal council of the chocolate Gods remembered the gift sweet Nelle had given me earlier that day.

 They demanded a sacrifice, plus interest. What else could I do?

I started with chocolate that appeared by the packaging to be dark chocolate because it seemed to me that the Noir de Noir label meant dark of dark, which seems kind of dark. It was sooooooo darkly good. 

One is never enough for these Gods, though.

Next I popped out what I was pretty sure was a coffee flavored chocolate by the name - I think in Dutch - Koffie Smaak. 

How very appropriate.

This, I knew before trying any of the others, was going to be my spirit chocolate.

I then tried the one I think was dark mint with fine nuts, Noir Praline. While it was really good, I had another Koffie Smaak to cleanse my palate before the milk chocolate.

I tried the milk chocolate, which I admit in my very middle class life, is my least favorite chocolate aside from white chocolate. But for milk chocolate, it was really good. Still, it came in fourth behind the mint one in third; the dark chocolate in second, and ...

Wait, I’ll try it one more time to make sure ...

Yes, Koffie Smaak is definitely the favored flavor among my chocolate monsters.

For the record, Belgian chocolate pairs well with any cheap wine because it’s like American chocolate on beautiful steroids annointed with unicorns. 

I ate so much chocolate that had my husband known he probably would have made me eat charcoal or syrup of ipecac or something, yet I was fine. 

I was fine because the chocolate monster got what it wanted, which was at least two pounds of flesh. 

It’s all good. And by good I mean, it’s almost obscene. Thank you, Nelle, for the most obscene chocolate I have ever enjoyed. 

When I woke up today my blood type changed from O-negative to Cocoa-positive, and I couldn’t be more OK.

Happy, haunted Halloween

Happy, haunted Halloween

Whatever you do, be Uber about it

Whatever you do, be Uber about it